How Are You Looking at the World?

One of the big AHA moments of the past few years for me was when I really understood that the way I view the world can have a profound influence on my experiences.

We Get What We Expect

As we went into lockdown after lockdown, the people who survived and even thrived were often the ones who could look at this as a different experience rather than simply a loss of their previous lives. While this idea has been reinforced in recent years, it is not new thinking.

My very smart coach, Hina Khan (www.hinakhan.ca), likens this to wearing glasses. If you use grey-tinted glasses, your world will look greyer. If you wear yellow-tinted glasses, your world will appear brighter.

Think about the assumptions you make about the world and the people in it. Are people good and helpful, or are they “out to get you”? Are things manageable for you, or do they always feel demanding? How often have you heard the comment, “Technology is too hard for me to learn—I always get it wrong”? What would happen if you started saying, “I can learn this easily”?

Travel Is a Test

Travel can reveal your attitudes and the lens through which you see the world. Take the mindset that not everything will go as planned, but embrace the adventure of not knowing.

Recently, I travelled to Puerto Vallarta by myself. My plan was to spend five days in town and then go to a yoga and meditation retreat for another week.

When I arrived at the airport and cleared customs and immigration, I emerged into a very chaotic scene, thinking I would get a taxi to take me to my Airbnb. I got sidetracked by someone who claimed to be able to get me a taxi easily. After about 20 minutes of him telling me about Puerto Vallarta, I realized that he was trying to get me to go to a timeshare presentation.

I extricated myself from that situation and was finally able to make it to a legitimate taxi. This incident could have coloured my whole trip, making me assume that everywhere I went there would be someone dishonest about their intentions. In reality, I found some really kind and helpful people during my stay.

By assuming that everything would work out in the end—maybe not exactly as planned, but perhaps even better—my trip was great. Travel is about learning new things and having new experiences.

Reframing

Start now and listen to your negative self-talk. Are you looking through a dark lens where bad things happen to you, or one where you believe you are not capable? You may not even be aware of these assumptions because they can become habitual ways of thinking.

Recognizing negative self-talk is the first step toward changing the way you see the world.

A second step is to try “I am” affirmations. Writing them down can make them more intentional, but even thinking about them can help you become more aware of the way you talk to yourself. Here are some examples:

Not: I am terrible with technology
But: I am able to handle technology with ease

Not: I always meet people who take advantage of me
But: I attract people who want to help me

Not: I am bad with money, so I never have any
But: I can handle money with confidence and make thoughtful financial choices

Not: I am never going to have a good love relationship
But: I am open to a healthy and loving relationship

What negative self-talk do you hear most often from yourself or your friends? How can you reframe that talk? Let us know below. The more we notice these statements, the more we can call ourselves and our friends on them.

“We do not see things as they are—we see things as we are.”