What if the emotions you were taught to hide are actually the key to confidence after 60?
“There once was a girl with a curl in the middle of her forehead…
When she was good, she was very, very good,
But when she was bad she was horrid.”
My mother used to say this rhyme about me when I was young.
Like many girls of my generation, I learned early that “good girls” were pleasant, agreeable, and positive. We didn’t show anger, jealousy, frustration, or sadness. Those feelings were pushed down, ignored, or politely hidden.
So I became very, very good.
Until occasionally… I wasn’t.
Every once in a while all those carefully suppressed feelings would burst out as irritation, rage, or sharp words that surprised everyone around me — including myself.
Looking back, I can see how much of my life was spent trying to stay in that very, very good lane.
But here’s what I understand now that I didn’t understand then:
Feelings aren’t good or bad.
They’re information.
Our emotions are our body’s way of telling us something important — what we need more of, what isn’t working, where a boundary may have been crossed, or where an old wound has been touched.
Instead of judging our feelings, we can learn to listen to them.
And honestly, what a wonderful stage of life to begin doing this.
So many of us spent decades being the “good girl” — the people pleaser, the peacemaker, the one who kept everything running smoothly for everyone else.
But this chapter of life invites something different.
It invites us to fully own who we are and what we want.
Spring, with its sense of renewal, feels like the perfect time for this kind of rebirth.
You don’t have to start with anything dramatic. Just begin by noticing what you feel.
Joy.
Comfort.
Love.
Anger.
Sadness.
Even envy.
All of it belongs to you.
Let yourself feel those emotions without immediately judging them. Then gently ask: Why might I be feeling this?
Sometimes the answer is simple. You’re sad because you’re grieving. You’re angry because someone crossed a line.
Other times the feeling may open a deeper door. Perhaps something someone said triggered an old memory of not being heard, or not being valued.
This kind of awareness can be incredibly liberating.
Instead of suppressing emotions until they explode, we start to understand them as guides. They point us toward what matters, what hurts, and what brings us alive.
And that kind of emotional honesty?
It’s a powerful path toward a happier, more authentic life.
Maybe this spring is the perfect moment to stop trying to be very, very good — and start being fully, honestly yourself.
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