Overcoming Fear of Failure: Moving Beyond Your Comfort Zone

Have you ever had a great idea about something new you wanted to try or a place you wanted to go and then immediately thought, “I can’t possibly do that”?

We are very creative with our excuses. What are your go-tos? “I’m too old,” “I was never agile,” “What will they think of me…?” are some of the most common excuses. If they’ve been a constant for you, congratulations—you are in the Comfort Zone.

This graphic from PositivePsychology.com says it all. We do not get to the Learning Zone or the Growth Zone because our fear pushes us back into that Comfort Zone where we feel safe and in control. Often, that is what happens when we enter the Fear Zone. So let’s talk about fear.

One of the biggest barriers to growing in your 60s can be getting past that Fear Zone—the fear of failure. Perfectionism and fear can often go hand in hand, making learning and growing even more challenging for those of us who have these tendencies. Something that often accompanies fear of failure is procrastination. Sound familiar?

Five Tips for Overcoming Fear of Failure

Here are five quick tips for dealing with fear of failure, inspired by a Positive Psychology blog, How to Overcome Failure: Your Ultimate Guide.

• Cultivate a growth mindset – Reframe failure as an opportunity to learn and grow.
• Build the failure muscle – Try new things in a safe space, such as learning a musical instrument or drawing. Enjoy the process and learn from each attempt. See Failing Better Each Time for more inspiration.
• Choose icons – Recall famous people who had a positive attitude toward failure. Thomas Edison is often cited as an example of persistence and experimentation.
• Learn from a toddler learning to walk – They fall, get up, and try again. We encourage them and help them along the way. Do you give yourself that same encouragement when you stumble?
• See failure as a teacher – Treat setbacks as an opportunity to ask what you can learn and what you might do differently next time.

Pushing Into the Growth Zone

One great exercise that I have done before is writing my obituary. What is your legacy? Do you really want it to be about how you played it safe all your life? Try it. It can be a real eye-opener.

Another way to get beyond the Fear Zone is to surround yourself with people who regularly challenge themselves. My late husband really challenged me to do things that scared me. From making a speech in front of a large audience to going on an African safari, he encouraged me to take risks. Sometimes when I experience fear, I ask myself, “What would John tell me to do?”

As a culture, we have a lot to learn from failure. If we avoid failure at all costs, we lose opportunities to discover what we are capable of doing. This can be especially true as we age and begin to think that we are no longer capable of changing. Wrong!

Now is a wonderful time of life to make use of the experience and time we have to try new things or, at the very least, have lots of fun. It is a time to take our space in the Learning Zone and the Growth Zone.

Here is a blog that I wrote about an experience way out of my comfort zone called African Adventure – Fight or Flight Response. This experience pushed me well into the Learning Zone and Growth Zone.

Let’s Have a Conversation

Are there parts of your life, such as your health or your friendships, where you stick close to your Comfort Zone? Do you have successful strategies to push past your Fear Zone? Are there people in your life who are great at pushing you beyond your fears into your Learning Zone?

First published at: Sixty and Me